Sometimes ns wish i was a woman. Ns was 30 years old as soon as I to be diagnosed through cancer (Burkitts Lymphoma) on brand-new Years work 2007. At the time I was a fit guy who didn’t drink, had never taken drugs, was active in sports and also had a love wife. But I still acquired cancer.

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It was as confusing as it was terrifying.

Where was the inspiration?

My treatment story is like numerous others v cancer. Dreadful diagnosis, knowingly en-masse chemistry poisoning, insomnia and frightening monitor up scans and body issues.

But if you check out the books, to visit the retreats, or listen to inspirational stories prefer Jess Ainscough’s , the layout is the same: cancer is the best of teachers. The is the ultimate means to “unplug”. That is greater than the best thing you speak to great.

The thought of this excited me, even when contemplating death. I recognize it to be a source of hope for loved ones due to the fact that I heard it whispered behind curtains. It came to be an expectation that a revelation.

Yet, nothing. And now ns wonder if it had actually a many to carry out with due to the fact that I am no a woman.


Macho macho man

Don’t acquire me wrong. That is awesome to it is in a guy. Our bathroom lines space shorter. We can both tune out and also look interested at the same time. We have brains in two places that we’re qualified of utilizing in different situations. That’s pretty great. Oh yeah, and we get to have sex with woman.

See? Awesome.

But when it involves learning from life-changing events, males, at times, deserve to suck. A life time of “macho” air conditioning made opening up to the great of chemo course as hard as the therapy itself. But because I’m a man, it didn’t seem to bother me also much. Things have the right to be simply as they used to be.

Bloody testosterone.

17 women and me

I should have cottoned on early. A year ~ my treatment finished ns attended a post-cancer 4 work retreat. You understand the kind: out in nature, no TV, lots of sitting in circles.


There were 18 attendees; 17 to be women. Most were bald prefer me. Every were recovering from breast or cervical cancer. And all were wishing the creepy male in the room wasn’t over there to hear to their new insecurities.

Trust me ladies, me too.


Put that proportion in a various context: 17 females and also me!

Pre-cancer? Heaven!

Post-cancer? Awkward.

That should have actually told me every I needed to know around men’s tendency to ‘harden up’ when faced with the uncomfortable.

Jess Ainscough commemorated her 5 year cancer-versary. Except a quite play on words, 5 year is the allude where numerous cancer types, according to statistics, room “cured”.

My cancer-versary

My 5 year cancer-versary was in 2012. Ns brushed that off together “just a number”. Ns didn’t must recognise it because I had actually moved pass it. I had beaten it v my difficult male traits of I don’t provide a shit.

But it’s no fair.

Because come brush it turn off is to forget the prestige of the course travelled. And you can’t discover from what you won’t remember.

So it transforms out ns do give a shit.

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Cancer required me come unplug from large corporate and became a trader, one entrepreneur and also one hell of a better father.